This thanksgiving was an extra special day for Sean and I. Not only do we get to celebrate all our blessings throughout our lives but most importantly our miracle TJ. Today was extra special for us because six years ago, when we first started trying to conceive, we bought this hat and booties from Hallmark. Anyone who has experienced infertility can tell you how hard it is actually keeping things like an outfit all that time.
Every month you go through each day doing everything possible to get pregnant. With every failing day, month, then years it becomes like a hollow pit in your chest and something you become to believe will never happen for you. We always kept this outfit, along with books and other items I picked up on a hopeful day shopping here and there, in what would one day be our babies room closet.
Every time I would wonder why I bothered, sometimes I would take down my dream board (take down is my elegant way of saying ripping off the wall in my hormonal rage of another defeating heartbreak). Then I would head to the “room” and cry. Looking at all my dreams and things I have bought for my baby to be, wondering why bother, keeping all this stuff that reminds me I may never have a baby?
Sean would sit with me and we would look at everything together, sometimes just cry and holding each other, sometimes stopping me from tearing everything apart and sometimes just to talk and eventually we would get to our hope. It would always take time to get to our place of hope but when we did we knew we couldn’t let it go.
He would tell me all the “motivational” quotes I would always say when we were going through our treatments and trials. We would agree that our baby would come one way or another…..maybe…. but if never, than we could use this as our memories, our fight and dream for this chapter in our lives or to help another family or child have something special one day but for now, we were meant to keep it because we bought it.
One year ago today we were blessed to be expecting our miracle baby and telling our family. We will never forget how scared and amazed we were that this was finally happening. That all that hope we had to continue to find in ourselves would pay off and our dream come true and we would actually have our baby, our little pumpkin and Thanksgiving miracle.
Its important to never forget where you came from and those out there still awaiting their miracles too. Sean and I are supporters for OHIP for IVF and members of Conceivable Dreams the Coalition to fund infertility treatments. On this Thanksgiving please look around and see how blessed you are to have a family and support those people still struggling to have their own and educate yourself on infertility.
We thank God for our TJ every single minute of everyday and wish this love for all to be able to experience. Knowing how blessed we are we want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and hope for a year full of continued family, love, health and laughter!