Today packing away my sons newborn outfits I began sobbing. My husband, who came in to console me, didn’t have to ask why (since my son was happily playing in his crib) but you may, so here’s one reason why, although strong, moms cry….
Most people would atomically assume I’m crying because of hormones, or maybe because I’m selfishly sad my little guy isn’t as little, or even because it’s just another task on my exasperated long list if to do’s but all those are not right.
My tears come from a place of knowing how long I desperately wanted this day and thinking it would never be in my cards. It’s a place of so much joy, yet at the same time sadness, because of all those who will never, or are still struggling to try, to have this moment.
I cry because I honestly know how amazingly lucky and blessed I am. I cry because I know the hurt, hollowness and knot in my throat of picturing being a mom. The praying, and contemplating my life without it- coming to terms of the reality of infertility and it’s diagnoses.
All things set aside every person who is a parent really should sit for a moment and think how they would deal with being told they would probably never have the family they have now. Then you would know why moms cry, especially why moms who ever doubted they could call themselves that one day, cry.
It’s a tough job being parents, new parents a bit harder, but it’s a different set of milestones I feel for once infertile patients who are now estatic new parents.
As I fold these tiny outfits to store away, I will never forget my struggle to get here, or be unmindful of my gifts in this life. I am so gratefully thankful and I hope each day you take a moment to count all your blessings regardless of your path and past. xo